Bright Side of the Dark Side
by Efi Taph
Summary: AU. ZADR. Go to jail! Go directly to jail, Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars. -Discontinued-
1. Chapter 1: Cell Number 999

_DO NOT FRET PEEPS WHO WATCH ME! I'm still writing on TtRH but this was finished first. XD I REFUSE TO ABANDON ANYTHING BUWHAHA XD  
Written mostly by me with little clips from Chihuahuagirl88  
Beta: Chihuahuagirl88__She helped add more to the story as she beta read it ^^ I really thank her for that.  
Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

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**Chapter 1:  
****Cell Number 999**

"Dib...eh, what's your last name again?" Dib sighed. You'd think that if he was going to get punished for something he didn't do, that he would at least get punished by someone competent. But no, there wasn't any one in this backwater town other then his sister and himself who was ever competent; Lord forbid someone pick up a book and READ. Or, if they must watch TV, at least watch something educational. Not even his father, the renown professor, seemed to have any idea about the weird things that went on in the town that seemed to escape everyone's notice. No, it was basically just him against the stupid, stupid world. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" The small time judge growled, pulling Dib from his thoughts. Dib shot him a withering, loathing glare before deciding the moron wasn't worth his time.

"What?" Dib snarled in return, rolling his eyes.

"What's your last name?" the judge repeated, staring at Dib as if he were the idiot instead of the one behind the desk.

"Membrane." Dib sighed once more. It really wasn't, but he had decided a long time ago that it was easier to go by his Dad's last name then his own. There was a long story there, not one he felt like dwelling on in such a critical moment.

"Membrane? Like the professor, Membrane?" The judge's eyes shone at the thought of the professor; everyone's did apparently. Dib's father was the talk of the town. Every day brought new cures and inventions. It wasn't as if these things were bad or that he didn't love his dad.

It just got really annoying.

"Yes...like the professor..." Dib mumbled knowing what was coming next.

"Oh, wow, you must be so thrilled to have the same last name as the professor!" the judge sang out, completely forgetting the case at hand in favor of gossiping about his favorite scientist. "You know he has kids, right? I think they're around your age. You might know them, I think you go to the same skool as them." He shook Dib's case file knowingly, and a few papers went flying. The judge ignored them, of course.

Dib groaned. How did he know? Because this was the response he always got. 'Yes I know his kids! I'm one of them, after all!' he wanted so badly to shout that at the judge, but Membrane had scolded him, telling him specifically not to. Instead Dib just nodded; it wasn't worth the trouble.

"Anyway," the judge said getting back on topic, straightening his curly white wig with a cough. "It says here you are charged with grand theft auto. This is a very serious crime."

Dib nodded; why bother trying to get out of this. No one ever believed him. They said he was crazy. He was surprised he wasn't in the nut house yet (not that his father and Ms. Bitters hadn't tried), but he just assumed no one ever though about that as an option. Now he was being punished for crimes he didn't commit. He had witnessed the theft and then gotten blamed for it. Oh joy.

"Well, I'm afraid the lightest I can give you is... Hmmm..." the judge looked over his clipboard. "Oh my...you're the crazy one, aren't you?"

Dib sighed. Here we go again.

"I see, so then, in that case I must request that you serve the rest of your youth in juvenile hall. Then you will spend a life sentence in jail. I'm sorry, but that's the least I can do."

"What!" the big headed teen exclaimed. Dib had not been expecting that at all. Grand theft auto wasn't THAT serious of a crime!

"Take him away, please." The judge motioned to some guards, who were standing silently at the back of the room. They came forward at his call and cuffed the speechless and confused Dib, dragging him from the room.

"Rotten, insane boy," the judge grumbled. "They should have put him away a long time ago."

**QQQ**

Dib struggled as he was led down the hall. Not that he could do much. The instant he had arrived at juvie, the warden had looked over his files; realizing that Dib was the 'crazy boy', he had stuffed him in a straight jacket.

"Now now, crazy boy," one of the guards dragging Dib babied. "you get to have a pretty little room mate while you're here, won't that be great?" Dib rolled his eyes. Why did him being 'crazy' (according to the warden) suddenly make him stupid?

"Idiots," Dib mumbled, giving up on trying to wriggle free.

"What was that?" the second guard asked him. This one was decidedly more stupid-looking, and therefore was on a short fuse. It didn't take much to set him off.

"Nothing," Dib growled at the guards; there was no point in being polite. He had life in prison, for God's sake!

"Don't mind him." The first smiled, and Dib decided that perhaps he was the dumber one. "He's just insane." Dib let out an exasperated sigh; why did he even bother?

The second guard merely nodded at the first, too busy checking the cell numbers to actually listen to his perky coworker. "Ah, here we are. Cell number 999." He nodded to himself and then to Dib. "Your cell mate's in counseling right now, so go ahead and get situated while waiting for him." The guards pulled out a loop of keys and opened the door, and Dib could have sworn he heard him say something that sounded like 'good luck with him'.

"Have fun," the first said, shoving Dib in, not bothering to remove the straight jacket. "He's quite the character, your cell mate." Dib sighed as the guards slammed the door, sealing him in to his new home. He was worried about this new room mate of his. Dib wasn't a hardened criminal, just a framed one; there was no way he could survive having a murderer or something as his cell mate.

"He can't be that bad, can he?" Dib asked himself, clumsily waddling over to the two beds in the room. The room was basically spotless, like it was a scene clipped right out of one of those fancy home magazines...if home magazines ever featured juvie cells that is. Except for a most likely stuffed green dog on one of the beds; its beady eyes seem to stare right through Dib, and he couldn't help but look away. Dib decided to claim the empty bed as his own, figuring that his room mate must sleep with the plush toy. "I guess I'll have to find out." Dib lain back and yawned. He hadn't noticed how tired he was until now, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Hopefully his cell mate wouldn't be back anytime soon.

Dib's hopes were smashed. Not that he really expected them to stay intact. He was almost out when a loud, obnoxious voice was heard on the other side on the door.

"-Oh shut up and open the door!" Dib grimaced at the sound of it.

"Alright, alright," the voice of what must have been a guard spoke. "You really need to work on your attitude, Zim." The sound of keys turning in the lock.

"Why should I? Zim will be out of here soon enough."

"Yeah, as soon as they find a cure for bipolar, OCD, and kleptomania," the guard said, uninterested, opening the door. The boy apparently known as Zim strode into the room then froze at the sight of Dib. Of course Dib froze at the sight of Zim as well- he was GREEN! Not green as in 'oh-boy-I-HATE-roller coasters-I'm-gonna-be-sick' green, but green as in 'You're-a-mean-one-Mr.-GRINCH' green! There was a lack of a few important appendages as well, mainly a nose and ears. "Oh wait, Zim! I forgot to tell you, you-"

"What is this THING doing in my room?" His voice was low but the anger seethed from him in waves. Dib stared in his half-sleep stupor. Zim couldn't be human, what ever he was, so he was most likely a threat-especially seeing as he was in juvie.

"That's what I was going to explain. See, Zim, you have a room mate now."

Zim was silent; he gazed at Dib and seemed to be grading him. Then he looked back at the guard. "ARE YOU INSANE?!" Dib jumped at the sudden change of temper from this Zim character.

"Now I know you don't like other people, Zim, but there were no other rooms available so-"

"YOU FILTHY STINK-BEAST! I AM NOT GOING TO SHARE A ROOM WITH A STINK BALL LIKE THAT!" Zim jabbed a finger in Dib's direction accusingly, allowing him to notice he only had three fingers hidden withing black gloves.

"Hey! I'm right here," Dib stated in an irritable tone, sitting up.

"SEE! IT'S TALKING!" Zim complained. Dib was starting to find Zim's way of TALKING in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS annoying.

"HEY!" Oh great, the green bugger had Dib doing it, too.

"I'm sorry, Zim." The guard spoke calmly; he wasn't really sorry, though, but his shift was almost over and he wanted to get the hell out of there. "But you're both going to have to deal with each other." The guard stepped out of the room, quickly slamming the door closed. Dib heard the key turn in the lock, sealing the two of them inside before Zim slammed in to the door uselessly.

"STOP, NO, LET ME OUT! HE'S GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING!" The guard didn't respond. Dib figured he had left the side of the door to wherever the guards hung out. Probably making little voodoo dolls to torture the inmates with. Zim turned around glaring at Dib.

"Um...Hi." Dib said, unsure of what else to say to Zim.

Zim's eye's narrowed further, and Dib was pretty sure that before long the kid's eyes would be closed with narroweditis or something. "Get out."

"I can't, the door's locked, remember?" Dib rolled his eyes before glaring back at Zim.

"MY BED! GET OUT OF MY BED!" Zim screeched at Dib, lunging and shoving the poor boy, causing Dib to fall off of the bed in question.

"What do you mean?!" Dib snarled, trying to stand up (an almost impossible task, thanks to the straight jacket). "I though that was your bed." Dib nodded at the bed with the green dog toy on it.

"No, that's Gir's bed," Zim said in a rather childish tone, knocking Dib over again and busying himself, trying to smooth out the wrinkles Dib had made on the sheets.

"Then where do I sleep?" Dib asked, narrowing his eyes at Zim (another thing the green freak seemed to be infecting him with); and people called him crazy.

"On the floor." Zim shoved Dib away from the beds and into the corner. "And I better not hear a peep out of you while I'm here." If Dib had gotten a better look at Zim, he would have noticed that the twisted Jolly Green Giant wannabe was smirking.

Dib grumbled, but curled up in the corner the best he could while wearing a straight jacket. He glared at Zim as the green 'thing' pet the head of the funky-looking dog toy. Zim then left the room to get dressed before returning to curl up in his own bed and fall asleep. Dib scooted around some more trying to get comfortable in the cramped corner. "Nice to meet you too, lima bean."

**QQQQQ**


	2. Chapter 2: Plague of Narroweditis

_Yeah Now posting of this fic is going to get VERY sparatic from here on out. Mainly because we don't have anymore of it written XD.  
Soooo Arts and crafts...you know the more you read the more insane everyone else gets... Wow. XD AND STILL NO OC'S XD BUWHAHAHA XD I like it like that ^^ Written mostly by me with little clips from Chihuahuagirl88_

_Beta:Chihuahuagirl88_

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

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**Chapter 2:  
Plague of Narroweditis**

Dib stared drowsily at the cafeteria table. His breakfast mush was untouched before him, not that he could even touch it if he wanted to. He was still in the straight jacket. He wasn't even sure what the mush was; it looked like shredded wheat a baby had puked up, then was trampled on by a dog, then chewed up by Ms. Bitters, then sent to the detention center and nuked in the microwave.

Little did he know, that was actually what it was.

"Umm... Could I get some help here?" Dib asked no one in particular. And, as to be expected, no one answered. He sighed and looked back at the...product.

"Hurry it up, Dib-stink." The increasingly familiar annoying voice. The same voice that had greeted him this morning paired with him being bodily rolled from the room like a barrel.

"What do you want, Zim?" Dib looked up scathingly at the ticked off Zim.

"Seeing as we're room mates now, I have to do all the STUPID juvie activities with you."

"Y-You're kidding, right?" Dib asked, disbelieving. Not only was he practically CHAINED to the freak, he now had to do 'personality strengthening' junk with him?

Zim glared at him. "Do I look like I'm kidding, fathead?"

"Well..." Dib looked away, glancing over at the very muscular and tattooed bullies comparing battle scars around him, then stared back at the tiny Zim. "Not really."

Zim grumbled and sat down next to Dib. "Hurry it up, breakfast is ending! Dump your tray already."

Dib looked at Zim disbelievingly. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" On second thought, how did he even get his tray to the table in the first place? It was...a MYSTERY.

"Figure it out!" Zim then proceeded to slam Dib's head into his tray before he letting out a maniacal laugh. Dib's eyes narrowed, despite the threat of narroweditis, as the mush dripped down from his glasses.

He was going to say something when a loud, high-pitched siren sounded through the cafeteria, announcing, "TIME FOR TELLI BYE-BYE-" The voice was interrupted by the sound of a whack, and a much deeper voice announced, "TIME FOR ARTS AND CRAFTS. REMEMBER THE MOTTO, BRATS."

Zim grumbled, looking back and forth between Dib and the trash can; finally, he gave up. "GAH! GIVE ME THAT!" Zim snatched Dib's tray and rushed it over to the trash, where he dumped it in the can and grabbed a handful of napkins. He came back to Dib and wiped the mush off his face. First he wiped off the left side, and after a moment's hesitation and an inner battle, he cleaned off the right. All the while mumbling threats to the 'Filthy Human'. Other detainees began to file into the cafeteria, and Zim quickly retreated to the other side of the bench, lest someone think he was friends with the new kid or something.

"Well HELLO kids~!" An insanely happy voice rang across the cafeteria, echoing with echoes of happy echoness. "I'm mister Dwicky, and I just LOVE teaching you kids the value of life! Today we're going to make houses out of popsicle sticks! WON'T THAT BE FABTABULOUS?!" Mr. Dwicky gestured at his large man of an assistant, who looked like an army drill sergeant- or like the guy who ate the army drill sergeant and spat him out. "My assistant Slab Rankle here will hand out a list of your materials! We'll go over them, and then hand them out! WON'T THAT BE FUUUUN?"

"List?" Dib muttered disbelievingly. "Why do we need a list?! You just said they would be made of POPSICLE sticks!"

"WELL IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A BACK TALKER!" the sergeant guy screamed in Dib's general direction, a vein bulging in his neck. Everyone in the room seemed to turn and stare at Dib, gasping on cue.

"What?" Dib asked confused about what the big deal was; all he had done was point out the obvious.

"You're the crazy guy, aren't you?" an insane looking boy with an orange puff of hair on his head asked in a creepy, wispery voice.

"What? No, I'm-"

"Yes he is!" Zim interrupted at his chance, throwing his arms in the air. "Oh so crazy is he!"

"Hey-" Dib was interrupted by the rest of the group ooo'ing at him.

The sergeant was not impressed, however, and the vein bulged to the point of no return. "BEING INSANE IS NOT AN EXCUSE! DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY FIVE!" Mr. Dwicky used his clipboard to shield himself from the spit flying from the sergeant's screaming orifice.

"What?! Are you crazy, how am I supposed to do push-ups in this jacket-?!" Dib started to protest against the obviously insane man, but to no avail.

"I SAID DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY FIVE!" the large man threw back a hand to smack Dib to the ground but Mr. Dwicky stopped him.

"Now now, Fido. You were crazy once, too. Try to have pity on poor little...eh...scythe head, okay? Now hand out the lists."

"My name is Dib," Dib mumbled almost pitifully, but he was pretty much ignored as Dwicky and Slab continued on with their paper-passing-out routine.

"So your name's Dib, huh?" the same weird looking puff haired kid from earlier whispered to him. "Nice to meet you, I'm Keef." He held out his hand waiting for Dib to shake it. Keef's wide smile slowly began to diminish in size as he waited for a hand shake; but he only received Dib's disbelieving stare. "Ooohkay... I guess you're the kind who doesn't like to touch, huh?"

Dib stared more, waiting to see if this kid could actually figure out that he was in a straight jacket and couldn't shake his hand even if he wanted to. Which he didn't. "I'm cool with that though." Keef smiled, leaning over closer to Dib; his smiled slightly disturbing to look at.

"BREAK IT UP YOU TWO!" Slab screeched at Dib and Keef. "IT APPEARS THE NEW KID IS A ROMEO TYPE! HUH?! ARE YA PUNK!? WELL...ARE YOOOOU?!" Dib was blown back and almost throw off of his chair by the force of Slab's screaming. "YOU DISGUST ME! DROP AND GIVE ME SEVENTY-FIVE!"

"But I thought I was supposed to give you fifty-five." Dib decided that clearly, Slab was nuts.

"THEN DROP AND GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED THIRTY, PLUS SIXTY MORE FOR MOUTHING OFF!"

"If you haven't noticed I'm kind of stuck in a straight JACKET!" Dib shouted his voice escalating as he spoke.

"OH, A WISE GUY TOO HUH?! ZIM, HELP YOUR CRAZY LITTLE PARTNER GIVE ME TWO HUNDRED PUSH UPS AND FIFTY SIT UPS!"

"WHAT!" Zim looked pissed off. "HE'S NOT MY PARTNER!"

Mr. Dwicky gave Zim his infamous LOOK. "Now Zim, you know Slab doesn't mean your sexual partner. He meant, well, lab partners." The man obviously thought Zim was gay.

Zim growled but didn't move. "And if I refuse to do his work for him?"

Slab then turned his attentions to Zim. "YOU INSOLENT LITTLE TATER TOT! DO YOU WANT US TO TAKE AWAY GIR?! WELL, DO YA?!"

Zim's eyes snapped open and though he tried to he failed at hiding his fear. Within minutes he was on the floor on his knees doing push ups.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Slab smirked as he finally finished handing out the papers. Mr. Dwicky sighed; he almost pitied Zim. Almost.

"Now first of all, Slab and I are going to show you how each of these materials can be used as weapons. Then we will go over how we shouldn't use them as such. Any questions?" Mr. Dwicky grinned, not expecting any.

Dib stared at Mr. Dwicky. He was surrounded by insane people instead of idiots this time. Sadly, he wasn't sure which was worse.

"No? Good now on too-"Mr. Dwicky began but was interrupted by Slab who had returned to screaming at Zim.

"YOU CALL THOSE PUSH-UPS MAGGOT I OTTA THROW THAT DUMB ANIMAL IN THE SHREDDER FOR SUCH A DISGRACEFUL PERFORMANCE!"

Zim almost gave a sob as he increased his push-upping speed. Gir was his best friend in this place, and he couldn't let them confiscate his technology. Dib noticed this and couldn't help but wonder why the kid liked his weird stuffed dog so much.

Maybe Zim was crazy, too. Either way Dib figured he should help the poor guy. "Mr. Dwicky, I need Zim to do my project."

"Oh alright." Dwicky nodded in mock understanding. "Slab ease up on the boy, he needs to finish his project, and all the exercising is really interrupting the class." Dwicky whispered the last bit.

"OH FINE. YOU KNOW MR. DWICKY, IT'S PENCIL PUSHERS LIKE YOU THAT REALLY TICK ME OFF." Slab grumbled a bit more in protest as Zim got up off the floor, sitting back down at their table. Dib smiled at him, but the green boy glared and looked away.

"I didn't need your help, razor head," Zim sniffed.

Dib's eyes narrowed again. When would the narroweditis end? "Excuse me for helping." Dib grumbled.

This was the straw that broke the green boy's back. "HELPING! IT"S YOUR FAULT GIR WAS ALMOST SHREADDED! AND NOW YOU THINK I'M GOING TO THANK YOU!?"

"DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL?! I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT PSYCHO WANTED TO SHRED GIR! THAT THING IS UGLY ANYWAY!" Dib snarled back.

Zim shook with pent up rage. "OH YEAH WELL... YOU'RE UGLYERIST!"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD! I BET GIR IS GREEN BECAUSE HE'S CRUSTY AND SNOT COVERED!"

"Boys, boys!" Mr. Dwicky interrupted them, pulling Dib away from Zim's side of the table.

Everyone around the quarreling two had frozen and fell silent. But Dib didn't care. This Zim! He just couldn't stand him. "WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR UGLY RAG AND GO BACK TO WHAT EVER PLANET YOU CAME FROM, FREAK!" Dib screeched.

"What did you say about Gir?" Zim asked quietly, completely missing the other insult directed at himself. Dib was taken aback by the look on Zim's face, but he refused to back down to some insane green bean.

Gnashing his teeth together Dib glared at Zim, still in Mr, Dwicky's grasp. "I Said Gir's an ugly little rag with stuffing and should be thrown away to never be seen again! I'm surprised I haven't yet! I just might do so; I need a bed after all."

"YOU RAT ASS BASTARD!" Zim gave a shriek rivaling one of Slab's as he lunged across the table, tackling Dib and grabbing him by his throat, squeezing tightly. "TAKE IT BACK!"

Dib choked; all the air was knocked out of him and Zim's crushing, three-fingered hand didn't help any at getting it back. "N-No!" Dib managed, and he spat in Zim's face.

Zim let out a fresh screech and rolled off Dib. He rolled around on the floor screaming in pain, and didn't stop even when Slab picked him up and shook him.

"ZIM! STOP SCREAMING THIS INSTANT!"

But Zim didn't stop. Slab persisted in shaking him until a normal person would throw up, but Zim kept screeching and tried to wipe his face off. "IT WON'T COME OFF!" Zim hollered more in horror then in pain now. The more he tried to get the spit off, the more he wiped it all over his face.

Mr. Dwicky sighed. This had happened before, so he knew what to do. He crumbled up one of his lists and walked over to the two. "Stop shaking him, Slab, before ya make him puke." Using the list, he wiped Zim's face dry.

Zim finally stopped blubbering and Slab put him back down. "Well, if everyone's DONE." He glared at the two, Dib especially. "I'd like to get on with today's activities." Zim and Dib were returned to their seats, their glares never falling.

Mr. Dwicky got on with the explanations. "So, if you bend the stick like this blahblahblah..." Dib wasn't really listening, he was mostly in a glaring contest with Zim.

Dib's attention was finally grasped by something other then Zim when a low whistling sound was heard. Dib looked up just to see Dwicky duck an incoming popsicle stick.

"Oh very funny Keef. Now as I was saying, if you do this then-" Five more popsicle sticks whizzed towards the councilor, and he just barely dodged them.

"Okay, hilarious! Now seriously, get to work making your houses." Mr. Dwicky crossed his arms and pouted. Slab rolled his eyes and passed out more sticks. Dib stared at his pile, and Zim smirked.

"Dib, your house is looking a little flat..."

Dib glared at Zim. "Shut up." Like his 'house' was all that special. It was just popsicle sticks after all, right? Dib looked up from the pile of sticks in front of him to see Zim almost finished with a miniature crooked green house.

"Oh, great job Zim," Mr . Dwicky cheered. "It looks just like your house."

Zim smiled proudly. "Yes, yes, I am well aware that ZIM is superior to the rest of you Earth stink. Here, Dib, let me help you with your house."

Mr. Dwicky smiled. 'What a nice boy,' he thought.

Zim reached over and grabbed a popsicle stick; and, slathering it with glue, he slapped it against Dib's forehead with a grin.

Dib's eyes flew wide open. "What was that for?!"

"There! Now Zim has helped." Zim grinned before returning to his 'house'.

Dib grumbled, going cross-eyed as he stared at the offending stick. He didn't notice Zim was beginning to twitch across the table.

'One...stick... An odd number... No! MUST FIX!' Zim thought.

As Dib tried to ignore the stick (seeing as he couldn't get it off anyway), Zim couldn't take his eyes off of it. 'Why must all my plans backfire?!' He screamed in his head, reaching up slowly towards the stick, trying not to arouse suspicions.

"What are you doing?" Dib had noticed.

"Nothing," Zim said quickly, slamming his hand down and grabbing one of Dib's sticks, adding it to his house for no reason. He continued to stare at Dib's head out of the corner of his eye. 'I'll get another one on, just you wait stink boy.'

**QQQQQ**


	3. Chapter 3: Spoon? There Is No Spoon

_WOOT! XD I finally got the next chapter up sorry it's kinda short XD but it IS funny ^^ in my opinion anyway._

_Beta:Chihuahuagirl88  
She helped add more to the story as she beta read it ^^ I really thank her for that. _

_Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_Q_

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**Chapter 3  
Spoon? There Is No Spoon...**

A loud banging on the cell door woke Dib from his very light 'sleep'. He had been up all night trying to avoid an ambush from Zim. Ever since he'd glued the popsicle stick on his head, he'd been eying him and trying to jump him. Dib was sure Zim was trying to kill him.

BANG BANG!

Dib was knocked out of his thoughts yet again by the banging noise. Before he could move, the door smashed open and an incredibly TALL man stepped through the door growling. "Stupid kids!" Dib stayed quiet, watching the man and trying to ignore the popsicle stick.

After a brief silence Dib couldn't help but sneeze. Unable to cover his mouth- still in a straight jacket- he sneezed loudly attracting the man's attention.

The tall man glared at him. "What's your problem?"

Dib shook his head, a little fearful. "I don't have a problem."

The man glared again. "Oh sure. So just because I'm the janitor, it's alright to sneeze at what I do, huh?!"

"What?" Dib was confused; he had only sneezed after all, nothing that bad. "No, it's just...you know, the dust in here-"

"Oh, so now you're saying I don't clean the rooms good enough?! Is that it!?"

"WHAT! NO!"

"I'm watching you, kid!" The janitor glared once more. "If I see one clean spot in this room, you're going down! It's my job so don't even THINK about moving in on my territory!" He then stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What was that all about?"

"Shut up." Dib was silenced when a pillow hit him upside the head. "Can't you see that NORMAL HUMANS are trying to sleep?!" The hated grasshopper snapped at Dib from his comfy bed. Dib glared at Zim, wishing doom upon the horrible freak. Zim noticed of course. "What's THAT look for?"

"Oh, nothing," Dib hissed, emphasizing the 'nothing'. 'At least I have a pillow now.' he thought, using his head to nudge the pillow over to the corner.

Zim wasn't happy by this. "HEY! Give that back! That's Gir's pillow!" Dib ignored Zim and tried to get back to sleep.

Zim, of course, didn't like this one bit. "I SAID GIVE IT BACK, HUMAN!"

"Oh, so you admit you're not a human, then?" Dib stated, smirking as he faced the wall.

"YOU HORRIBLE-!" Zim growled jumping out of bed and glaring at Dib. "I'M HUMAN! I'M NORMAL! YOU'RE THE FREAK!"

"GAH!" Dib was jerked off the floor and shaken like a polaroid picture by the small, yet surprisingly strong Zim.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT OR WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH, YOU STINKING! PIG-SMELLY! WORM!"

"I-never-said-you-were-a-freak!" Dib spoke jerkily as he was shaken, not stirred. (Enough shaking puns for you?)

Zim paused and eyed Dib suspiciously as the poor boy's head lolled around in the same motion he had been shook. "Who were you talking to anyway?" With the sudden change of topic Zim dropped Dib and snatched the pillow away, pretending that he had not just been shaking the human into submission.

Dib stared at Zim as he returned to his bed and placed the pillow on to the bed beside him. "I was talking to the janitor...?" Dib spoke as if it were a question. And honestly it was, the whole ordeal had felt like a dream in the first place, so he wasn't quiet sure.

"The janitor was in here?" Zim looked around, panicked for a moment, then glared at Dib. "LIES! The janitor doesn't go in to the cells while we're in them!"

"Well then I don't know. I guess I was just talking to myself, huh?" Dib mumbled, wanting to go back to sleep.

Zim glared at Dib for a little while longer before laying down in his bed. "Fine, Dib-beast... Zim will accept your admittance of insanity for now."

"Whatever, just let me sleep, stupid cricket," Dib groaned as he started dozing off.

Zim continued to glare at Dib until he was sure the boy was asleep. "Well it's about time," he spat out, slipping out of bed; he yanked a popsicle stick and a bit of glue he had swiped from arts and crafts earlier from his pocket. With an evil snicker, he slathered the glue onto the stick then, sneaking quietly up to Dib, placed it on his head at an even distance away from the first stick. "FINALLY!" Zim slapped his hands over his mouth and dashed back to his bed as Dib grumbled and rolled over.

Finally laying down peacefully in bed, Zim smiled at a job well done and fell asleep. However, at the same time Zim fell asleep, Dib rolled over some more and there by knocking of the newly glued down popsicle stick. Now there was still only one.

**QQQ**

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Zim screeched at Dib, who was sitting in the floor where he had slept the night before, yawning.

"What?" He asked through the yawn.

"HOW CAN THERE BE ONLY ONE STICK!?" Zim jabbed a finger at Dib's forehead. "I PUT ANOTHER ONE ON LAST NIGHT! I KNOW I DID! WHERE IS IT, HUMAN?!" Zim grabbed Dib around the neck of the straitjacket and yanked him up in the air. "WHERE IS THE SECOND STICK! DO NOT FOOL AROUND WITH ZIM!"

Dib stared at Zim confused then decided to try an old trick he had seen on a movie once. "What stick Zim?"

"THE POPSICLE STICK! I PUT IT ON YOUR HEAD LAST NIGHT!"

"No, you didn't, Zim," Dib said-somehow calmly- while trying not to crack up.

"What do you mean, HUMAN?" Zim asked suspiciously.

"You didn't put a stick on my head last night, because there is no stick," Dib replied plainly.

Zim froze for a moment, thinking this over. "No stick? But... THERE'S STILL A STICK ON YOUR HEAD, DIB-WORM!"

Dib grinned and shook his head. He rolled over so he could manage to sit up; it was a difficult feat for one still in a straitjacket. "No Zim. There IS no stick. There never was, you just think there is."

Zim gaped at Dib in disbelief. Dib had successfully confused him into submission. With a non-committal grumble of, "Yeah, well, there's still a stick", the matter was settled, and the pair got ready for breakfast.

**QQQQQ**


	4. Chapter 4: British Zippers

_WOOT! XD well thanks to this chappy I've decided to up the rating. after this some of you wont read it any more XD and then some will want to read more XD GAHHA XD the asnwer IS A MYSTERY! Is the title confusing to you? XD well its a private joke so there XD maybe you'll get it: capitilized Zipper, Is a proper noun because it's british._

_Beta:Chihuahuagirl88  
She helped add more to the story as she beta read it ^^ I really thank her for that. _

_Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

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**Chapter 4:  
British Zippers**

To Dib the whole day in general had come out so far as a smashing hit! Zim hadn't attacked him since they had woken up, and every time Zim saw Dib he would look up at his head where the popsicle stick was glued and stare at it, eyes wide and mouth open. Dib laughed to himself at the thoughts that must have been going through Zim's mind. He had still yet to figure out WHAT Zim was, but at least figuring it out gave him something to do.

Perhaps the best moment to this whole popsicle stick scandal, in Dib's mind at least, was when he convinced the puffball kid (Keef) to take it off while Zim was looking away. As soon as the frog looked back, the popsicle stick was no longer in sight. All the poor kid could do was gape at Dib, not knowing what to really say.

"What are you looking at?" Dib asked him, trying not to crack up too much. Zim shook his head, silently staring, his mouth still hanging wide open.

All in all, Dib had to say all this was the most fun he had ever had. **But**, all good things must come to an end. And unfortunately, for both Dib **and** Zim, this end came right around lunch time.

QQQ

Dib, once again, was mysteriously sitting at a table with a tray of the cafeteria's meal of the day sitting in front of him. Of course he still couldn't eat it, but he really didn't want to anyway. Just like the day before, Zim came in to taunt him before snatching his tray away, dumping the contents in the trash can when arts and crafts were called.

"Well, I'm sorry boys, but we don't have anymore popsicle sticks today." Mr. Dwicky sighed, standing in front of the group that had gathered for arts and crafts. "So today we'll be working with toothpicks and marshmallows! Won't that be fun?!" The delinquents exchanged looks; half of them nodded uncertainly, while the other half simply sighed at Dwicky's stupidity. Why oh why did they have to be stuck in a place like this with a person like _him_?

Dib, on the other hand, wasn't really paying attention. Unfortunately for Dib, even the forces of nature had it out for him. "Dib can you **please** hold still? I'm trying to teach about how these marshmallows can be used as weapons."

"S-Sorry Mr. Dwicky." Dib mumbled squirming around in his seat. It only took a bit more squirming before Dwicky sighed.

"Dib! What has gotten into you today?"

Dib managed to sit still, and a blush came to his face. "W-Well, you see, ah…" He twitched. No way he could hold it in. He had to ask. "I… I need a restroom pass."

Dwicky frowned and reached up, stroking his goatee. "We use the buddy system here, Dib." Narrowing his eyes, he suddenly smiled brightly. "So take Zim with you!"

"WHAT!" Zim Shouted jumping out of his seat horrified. "I'M NOT GOING TO THE RESTROOM WITH HIM!"

"Well that makes two of us, huh?" Dib growled, not wanting to have to take Zim to the bathroom with him. Can you say embarrassing? The creep would probably watch him or something. _Size up my head for experimentation or something…_ he thought.

"Now now you two, off you go." Dwicky smiled, pulling them away from their chairs and shoving them towards the doors of the cafeteria. "And don't come back till you're done!"

"And remember!" Slab shouted at the two with an evil grin, "THE CAMERAS ARE ALWAYS WATCHING!" The creepy factor just tripled.

QQQ

"Okay human, just do what ever it is you do in there and then get back out here!" Zim snapped, glaring at Dib and crossing his arms. Dib stared at Zim a blank look on his face. "Well?!"

"For starters, I can't open the door." Dib nodded down at the straight jacket.

"Ugh! Must I do EVERYTHING for you?" Zim yanked the door open and shoved Dib inside.

"Aren't you supposed to be coming in?" Dib growled, standing up from the floor shakily. Not that he WANTED Zim to follow him, but he was just following what Dwicky said. Who, by now, Dib was positive he was crazy. Dwicky deserved to be in a straight jacket, not Dib. The person who was the only sane one around here. Between Zim's obsessive behavior and Keef's possessive, it was driving the sane person mad.

"What! NEVER!" Zim crossed his arms on the other side of the door, and Dib laughed flatly.

"Wimp." Dib wasn't against stooping this low to manipulate the green boy.

"WHAT!" Zim stormed into the bathroom. If Dib thought Zim was a wimp, he'd show him! "ZIM IS NO WIMP! NOW GET UP AND DO WHAT IT IS WE ARE HERE FOR YOU TO DO!"

Dib rolled his eyes and stepped away from Zim, heading towards the sinks and the urinals. "Do you even know what a bathroom's for?" Dib glanced over at Zim with a smug look which the other boy definitely didn't miss.

"OF COUSE ZIM DOES!" Dib sighed and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Do you ever stop yelling?" he groaned, peeking one eye open just enough to shoot a glare at Zim. The green boy crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue in answer, and Dib's eyes widened slightly when he saw that the boy's tongue was purple, pointy, and striped. But then it was gone, sucked back into the boy's mouth when Zim noticed Dib staring. "Yeah, whatever…" Dib turned back to the urinal in front of him and froze as he realized there was just one little problem on this adventure of theirs.

How was Dib supposed to unzip his pants and hold…_it_ while he went to the bathroom? …Well, he sure wasn't going to ask Zim for help! Hmph. Now… Dib squirmed in his jacket, jerking his arms around as he tried to shift into a position where he could reach his pants, but unfortunately, it just wasn't possible. Okay, plan B. Dib fell to the floor and squirmed around some more, trying to bend over far enough to reach his pants with his mouth, but that was no use as well- it made his stomach cramp up, and if he stretched anymore, he felt like his back would break.

Trying to use the wall as friction didn't work, either, and neither did hooking the zipper on a door lock. The entire time, Zim watched with a mix of amusement and annoyance. He wasn't sure _why_ Dib was getting so frustrated, but if he was having problems with something, then it was funny. But he was also annoyed because he was here, with Dib (where he didn't want to be), and the big-headed boy was wasting time.

"WHAT! ARE! YOU! DOING!"

"I. Am. Trying. To. Unzip. My pants," Dib snapped back in the same annoying start-stop manner that Zim had shouted in. "GAH!" Dib slammed his head in to the wall before looking up to Zim glaring and pouting a little. "Can you just let me out of this straight jacket?"

"Hmm." Zim taped his fingers together thinking about this action as Dib twitched around uncomfortably. "No."

"WHAT! WHY NOT!?"

"Well I HONESTLY have no idea WHY you're in that thing to begin with! WHO KNOWS what you could do if I let you out!"

"I COULD USE THE BATHROOM! YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT!" After this outburst, Dib lunged at Zim the best he could; however, Zim merely stepped out of the way and watched as Dib fumbled to the ground.

"Now, now, Dib beast, what did THAT accomplish?" Dib glared at Zim, struggling to get up off the bathroom floor. Zim rolled his eyes again and grabbing the fallen Dib's arm, jerking him up sharply. "Now, do what ever it is you came here to do. NOW!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't unzip my pants, okay!"

"Why do you need to get in your pants?!"

Once more Dib glared at Zim and asked, "Do you SERIOUSLY not know what a bathroom is for?"

"OF COURSE I DO!" Zim shouted, once again infuriated by Dib's accusations. "It's for... Uh... Bathing! That's why its called the bathroom after all, stupid Dib thing." Dib looked at Zim blankly before turning to the wall and began to slowly hit his head with it. Slowly but surely giving himself a concussion. "Hey! Cut that out!" Zim snapped jerking Dib back from the wall. "If you die, I lose Gir."

"Zim..." Dib spoke quietly not looking up. "Just take the jacket off. PLEASE!"

Zim stared at Dib in confusion for a few minutes as the boy returned to his earlier 'dance' and head banging against the wall. "ZIM HAS A BETTER PLAN!" He shouted, startling Dib enough to make him stop.

"What?" Dib eyed Zim suspiciously.

"I'll just unzip your pants myself then I don't have to un-jacket you." Zim grinned at his 'brilliance' and reached over towards Dib's pants. While at the same time, Dib was stepping back as fast as he could. "Gah! HOLD STILL! ZIM IS HELPING YOU FOR ONCE!"

"NO WAY! It's bad enough I have to be in here with YOU!"

Zim growled and lunged towards Dib trying to know him over, and succeeding. "HOLD STILL, HUMAN!"

This was too horrible to even enjoy Zim's 'human' slip up. "GAH! LEGO LEGO LEGO!" Dib struggled as best as he could but Zim finally pinned him. "Zim, come on, be reasonable."

"What is your problem? I'm BEING NICE for ONCE!" Zim shouted, grabbing Dib's Zipper and jerking it down. "THERE!" He yanked Dib's now undone pants down, dragging the boy's boxers along for the ride. Then the vomit green tree frog froze. "What.. Is that?" Zim leaned in closer to take a better look and decided to poke this newfound wonder.

"HEY CUT IT OUT!" Dib snapped, Struggling away from Zim and turning around, his face now bright red. Sighing, the teen tried to think of the positives. Not like there were many to think of.

"Hey! THANK ZIM!" Zim shouted after a few seconds of silence.

"WHAT FOR!?" Dib shouted back over his shoulder.

"For freeing that worm in your pants, that's what!" Zim glared, angry at getting yelled at for this. "I bet you killed it!" Probably suffocated it with his super emoness. Poor thing.

"I didn't 'kill it' Zim, because it's not alive!" Dib grumbled standing up to finish his business and go to he bathroom like he needed to. "Now, go away. Your help is no longer needed, thank you very MUCH."

"Won't you have to close your pants?" Zim asked, smirking at Dib's infuriating helplessness.

"Shut up!" Zim laughed and stalked over to stand next to Dib.

"So now what are you doing?" he asked, peeking over.

"GHA! GO AWAY!" Dib snapped, trying to shove Zim away from him. "I told you I don't need your help!"

Zim looked up at Dib and grinned evilly. "Well I beg the Tallest to differ, human. Zim shall help." At least the day couldn't get worse... Right?

QQQ

"Dib, Zim! What took you two so long? Class is over!" Mr. Dwicky pouted as the two boys approached the table. Dib's face splashed a deep red and Zim's hands were wrapped up in paper towels. Both had their eyes wide open. "Well?"

"W-we don't want to talk about it." Zim nodded. "Can I leave?"

"Well I'm not sure, Zim. What would we do with Dib?" Dwicky pretended to ponder the thought. Then he snapped his fingers. "I've got it." Pulling Slab aside he whispered something in the Sargent's ear making the man grin in sadistic glee.

"ALRIGHT YOU MAGOTS!" Slab shouted still grinning. "YOU CAN BOTH SKIP ACTIVITES TODAY!"

"Yes!" Zim chirped grinned in relief. "Good Bye Di-"

"NOT SO FAST!"

"Wha-" Before Zim could even finish his sentence a hand cuff was snapped around his wrist. "What is the meaning of this?" He asked, a confused look on his face until the look of pure horror spear across it when he saw Slab snap the other cuff on Dib's wrist.

"Now you can go." Dwicky smiled and shoved the two out of the cafeteria. It just got worse.


	5. Chapter 5: Plans, BIG Plans

_I don't get it man, this chapter is some how SMALLER then the last one! Ugh oh well, I'll be having the next one up soon XD this one was GOING to be longer but i kinda liked it dropping off like this so i split it in half ^^; not the BEST idea perhaps but oh well en joy none the less.  
_

_Beta:Chihuahuagirl88  
She helped add more to the story as she beta read it ^^ I really thank her for that. _

_Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

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**Chapter 5:  
Plans, BIG Plans**

"STOP MOVING, YOU!" Zim growled at Dib, who was once again trying to roll over in his much needed sleep.

"Mmm..." Dib grumbled, tugging on his arm, trying to loosen it from its bond with Zim's. He was still required to sleep in the floor, but thanks to the short length of the handcuffs, he had to sleep right next to Zim's bed. It had already been at least a couple weeks since they had been cuffed together (though neither were positive as time didn't really matter here), and things were just constantly going further and further downhill. They now had to do EVERYTHING together. Not just small things like arts and crafts.

When one of them got in trouble, they both got the punishment (and not the sexy kind, either). Of course it was still worse then that, as Dib now had no choice but to have Zim help him when he had to go to the bathroom. (Of course, Dib noticed how odd it was that Zim himself never had to go to the bathroom, or shower for that matter.) It was really interesting when Zim had complained about the way Dib smelled, so Dwicky made them take a shower. That had been VERY amusing for Dib, seeing as Zim some how started burning in the water.

But the amusement wore off VERY quickly, seeing as Zim had decided the best way to save himself was to flee the water as fast as he could, which ended up having him drag a half-naked (thanks to the straight jacket that everyone refused to remove) Dib down the hallway. And if you're wondering how he got the rest of his clothes off, you guessed it- Zim 'helped' him with that, too. Many of the inmates got a kick out of that one.

"Stop moving!" Zim shouted again, jerking at the cuffs as hard as he could. He was bandaged almost from head to toe after all the excessive burning he'd had to endure thanks to DIB. Dib simply grumbled again, however, and once more attempted to roll over, jerking Zim's arm almost out of its socket. It was at this point, Zim decided he wasn't going to be getting any sleep this night, just like most other nights since he was chained to Dib. "Stupid human." He grumbled.

"Whats the matter, Master?" A soft, cutesy voice sounded from behind Zim causing him to sigh more.

"It's nothing, Gir," Zim grumbled, and the green dog that had spent all of Dib's waking hours stiff in its bed crawled over to Zim and snuggled up to his side.

"Awww, come on," Gir squealed happily. "You look sad."

"I'm not sad Gir," Zim growled, glaring at the 'dog' behind him, his neck craning to make eye contact. "I'm just tired."

"Then why don't you sleep?"

"Don't you think I've TRIED that Gir?" Zim glared towards the ceiling seeing as he couldn't manage to look all the way over at Gir from the direction he was turning.

"Well what's wrong?"

Zim sighed and yanked on his arm causing Dib to mumble in his sleep and the sudden jerk. "That's what's wrong Gir."

"Oooooh." Gir was quiet for a while and Zim figured the little thing had gone back to his bed, or worse, left the room to get food that he didn't need. Thankfully Zim's worries were put to rest when Gir spoke up to him again. "Why don't you put him in the bed too?"

"WHAT!?" Zim shouted, jerking to a sitting position only to fall back down as the human-Dib refused to sit up in his sleeping state. Zim looked around, hoping he hadn't woken anyone up with that out burst then growled at Gir again. "Why should I let him in MY bed?"

"Well if he was in the bed, he wouldn' be a yankin on yer arm. Then you could sleep."

Zim froze. 'Curses, the blasted thing is right!' he clenched his fists at being out thought by his stupid little toy and grumbled and finally sighed. "Fine. But just remember, when this back fires, I'm telling the Tallest that YOU did it, got it?" Zim grumbled sitting up slowly and getting out of bed. He was going to need all his strength to get the Dib-pig in to the bed.

"Okay, Master." Gir giggled and crawled back into his own bed as he watched Zim struggle and finally manage to shove Dib on to the left side of the bed.

"There." Zim sighed and crawled in bed finally happy that he could lay on his back again with out his left arm being yanked out of its socket. "Good night, Gir." Zim mumbled as he quickly felt asleep in the now more comfortable position.

As the two slept in the bed next to him Gir's eyes began to wander in boredom. Normally Zim let him wander the halls and such and eat food from the mess hall. But that was before Dib showed up. But now Gir's thoughts were interrupted as he happened to notice something interesting enough to catch his attention. "Oooh." Gir smiled hopping over to Zim's bed and poking at a few knotted cords on the back of Dib. "It's a rope." Gir squealed in delight quickly yanking on them to get them fee, and failing miserably as they were knotted down tightly. "Awww..." Gir stared at them for a few minutes before grinning and pulling a small laser like device from inside of his head. "Heheh, I gots a rope." Gir grinned in glee as he claimed his prize, which just happened to actually be not only rope but the ties to Dib's straight jacket, not that Gir cared however. No as soon as he got what he wanted he crept over to the cell door, somehow opened it and slipped away down the halls and towards the mess hall. Seeing as dinner had been tacos he had lots of plans swimming around in his little head. LOTS of plans.

Meanwhile, back in the greatness of cell number 999, Zim was waking up much sooner then he wanted too. It seemed, as his consciousness took hold once more after only maybe fifteen minutes of actual sleep, that the janitorial drones of this horrible establishment in which he was confined had decided to turn on the air conditioning, making it increasingly louder and COLDER in all of the cells.

Zim shivered balling himself up trying to get all his warmth back. "St-t-upid humans." he grumbled to tired to care how threatening his voice really was at the moment. Zim's only consolation was that, by the shivving from the human next to him, he could tell Dib wasn't enjoying this either. As Zim snickered at this small comfort, something decided it would be a good idea to try and tie him up.

Zim shrieked when he felt the 'thing' loop around him and could barely recover and he soon discovered that this 'thing' just happened to be the Dib-beast's arm. Breathing heavily from the shock, and too tired to notice that Dib shouldn't be able to move his arms, Zim grumbled and went to shove the arm off, when he frozen once more.

It was warm. The realization struck him like the countless days of sleep he had missed. A human could produce much more body heat then he could. Zim yawned and snuggled back into the covers of his bed and this time pulled Dib's arm around and closer too him. "At least you have SOME use." He mumbled drifting off back to his light sleep.

Dib however wasn't please with this. Still deep in sleep, his body naturally trying to keep warm, snuggled closer to Zim. All in all it was quite a sight. And, as Gir stated upon returning to the room . "Awwww, they look so cuuute." That is before he pulled a camera out of his head, just like the laser from earlier and took several snap shots. "Heheeheh. I'mma keep a scrap book." He giggled and rushed out of the room again.

QQQ

Dib awoke the next morning having had the best night sleep he had had since he arrived here. He sighed and snuggled closer to the warm object he had been sleeping next too all night. All in all he was feeling rather refreshed and for once his arms weren't sore from being tied behind his back. That's when the sleep ebbed away enough for him to realize a few of his surroundings. For one he was in a bed which was wonderful, he had to admit, after sleeping on the floor for so long. But the second thing he notice was the one that made him really happy. His arm's WEREN'T tied behind his back. He was so thrilled at the sudden ability to use his arms again that he squeezed the 'object' in joy, only stopping when it... squeaked?

Dib slowly and cautiously tilted his head down to see what exactly it was that he was holding on to, and about have a heart attack as one of Zim's half lidded eyes glared at him.

"Don't squish me, Dib," Zim grumbled still half asleep, tunneling back deep into the covers and under Dib's arm. "I'm tried."

QQQQQ


	6. Chapter 6: The Filler

_CAUSE ITS THE FILLER! FILLER NIGHT! yeah XD we needed some things to happen before we could continue XD heheh so you get this chapter XD Stormy wants me to say: "We will start writing the next chapter when someone figures out WHO the Janitor is." XD lol simple request. DO YOU KNOW!?_

_Written mostly by me with little clips from Chihuahuagirl88  
Beta: Chihuahuagirl88__She helped add more to the story as she beta read it ^^ I really thank her for that.  
Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

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**Chapter 6:  
The Filler**

Dib didn't move. He didn't dare to. How on this little blue planet had he managed to get into Zim's bed, escape his straight jacket and enact his HORRIBLE habit of sleep cuddling upon the odd green teen, he had no clue. His face was bright red from the embarrassment of it all. He could bet more then anything if Zim was awake he would probably be dead by now.

So in hope of keeping himself moderately safe for the time being, Dib didn't dare move. He could hear the noises of the other delinquents waking up and being let out of their cells to go eat breakfast. But he still stayed still. He doubted anyone really cared if they missed; after all, it's not like they could go anywhere. No one would be worried that they escaped or something.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Dib had to admit it was very comfortable, and soon he found himself dozing off.

BANG! BANG!

Dib snapped awake. He hadn't realized that he fell asleep. But thinking it over, maybe he had been. Maybe this banging was Slab coming to tear him limb from limb for not getting out of bed! Maybe-

"Stupid door. Ugh." The door creaked open a slight bit and the INCREDIBLY TALL janitor from before entered the room, glaring at the door.

Dib's eyes were wide. "What are you doing?!" he couldn't help yelling at the janitor.

The janitor looked up. Noticing whose bed Dib was in, he put on a smug look. "Well lookie here. I guess you got on his good side huh? Or did you sneak into his bed cause you had a bad dweam?" The man laughed as he taunted Dib.

Dib glared. "I asked first."

"Oh, fine." The janitor rolled his eyes and turned back to the door. "I'm trying to fix this door. It's stuck shut with something and I can't get into it."

Dib rolled his eyes right back at the janitor. "Is that why you're ALWAYS in our room? Because you're bad at your job?"

The janitor glared. "Hey, do I tell you how to be insane? No. I don't think so. So don't mock me."

Dib sighed, then shrugged as he laid his head back down. "Maybe there's a taco in the door or something..." He scoffed at the stupid suggestion.

The janitor stopped and stared. "Why a taco?"

Dib groaned. This guy was taking him seriously. "I don't know, I was just-"

"Did you PUT a taco in the door?" His stare turned into a glare.

"What? No, I was just-"

"If I find a taco...you're going down." And with that the janitor stormed out of the room, slamming the door after him.

Dib groaned, slamming his head down into Zim.

"EEP!" Zim let out a surprised shriek at being woken up so rudely and jumped out of bed, dragging Dib into the floor next to him. "W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He demanded once he saw what caused him to be awoken. He crossed his arms. He had been warm in bed. Now he was awake, cold, and angry.

Dib blanched, not knowing what to say and unsure of what Zim was asking. "I-I...uh..."

"BREAKFAST!" The bedroom door smashed open and in walked the ever vigilantly happy Mr. Dwicky. "Oh, come on now, you two." He grinned wide before grabbing Zim by the arm and yanking Dib up off the floor. "You two aren't even dressed yet, and it's almost arts and crafts time already!"

Zim glared at Dib. "Well if SOME PEOPLE could keep their hands to themselves we wouldn't be late now WOULD we?" he growled. He hadn't REALLY minded Dib sleep cuddling him. It had been warm. But being woken up like that ticked him off royally.

Dib glared. "HEY! IT WASN'T MY FAULT I WAS IN YOUR BED!" He froze and glanced at Dwicky's odd look. "Uhh... T-that came out wrong..."

"Well..." Dwicky shook his head as he dragged the boys out of the room, denying them the joys of getting out of their Pjs and dressing. "As much as I hate to break up a lover's spat, we really must get back on schedule."

**QQQQQ**


	7. Chapter 7: TACOS

Scardey Bat: Oh oh OH dear! A NEW Chapter?

Zim: THAT'S RIGHT! NOW SHUT IT FLYING RAT THING!

_Beta: No beta__  
Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

_Q  
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**Chapter 7:  
TACOS**

Dib groaned being dragged off by Dwicky. "Do we HAVE to do art's and crafts everyday?"

"Well of course silly!" Mr. Dwicky cheered. "It's fun and builds character!"

Zim growled and glared at Dib. "Yes Dib-slime, it is fun." Zim said the word fun as if he were going to barf. Dib sighed and decided he'd at least enjoy the fact that Zim wasn't going to be having fun either.

"Alright boy's take your seats!" Mr. Dwicky shoved them both into the cafeteria table. "Today we're going to..." His voice droned on but Dib had tuned it out by this point.

A light giggling came from the seat beside him and he glanced over to the the ever annoying puff kid Keef. "What?"

"You two are so cute together~" he giggled again before launching one of the art supplies at Dwicky's head.

Groaning Dib returned to playing with some of the supplies in front of him. 'It's always the same here isn't it?'

**QQQ**

"Are you sure he has to be here?" Dib asked shooting a hateful glare at the stupid jolly green midget cuffed to him. The two had been dragged out of the cafeteria by Dwicky after arts and crafts and were now stuck in the counselors office.

Zim glared right back. "Not like I'm here by choice."

"Now, now, Dib," Dwicky cheered happily. "The more the merrier! Plus, I can't un-cuff you too till your fighting has stopped."

"We were never fighting! We were arguing!" Dib shouted exasperated. Now not only did he have to do everything else with the stupid freak. He also had to go through the pointless counseling sessions with him. "Can't you just let us go with a warning?"

"So what got you in here Dib?" Dwicky asked ignoring him and changing the topic.

"The stupidity of the human race." Dib grumbled crossing his arms only to have them jerked uncrossed by Zim who wanted his arms to himself.

"Oh now, Dib you can't keep blaming everyone else for your own mistakes. You'll never get better if you do." Dwicky smiled at him from behind his desk.

"Get better? Get better at what? I'm stuck in jail for the rest of my life! All because everyone thinks I'm crazy and charged me for crimes I didn't commit! Shouldn't I get a trial or something?" Dib snapped at him exasperatedly.

"Your father chose for a jury-less trial, you spoke with the judge he sent you here." Dwicky nodded trying to get back to the 'issues'.

"You know who he is right? I doubt it, my dad hates the fact we're related, won't even admit it."

"I see you have several home issues Dib, is your fathers abandonment the reason you turned to crime?" Dwicky asked glad he could tie it back to what they were SUPPOSED to be talking about.

"GAH!" Dib slammed his head against the wall. "It's pointless talking to you, you're all stupid!"

"Now you see how I feel." Zim grumbled glaring at Dib again.

Dib stared blankly at him for a moment. "Says the Martian who talks to plush toys."

"ZIM IS NO WORTHLESS MARTIAN!" Zim snapped at him jabbing a finger in his chest as he jumped to his feet. "And Gir is no mere plush toy! He's My-"

" Your what?"

Zim froze. "Uhh My... MOMENTO! Yes that's it."

"Aww that's sweet." Dwicky interrupted the two. "I guess you've finally found some common ground." He giggled happy as usual.

"Are you high or something all the time?" Dib asked giving Dwicky a blank stare.

"Well not ALLL the time." Dwicky smiled petting Dib's head.

" I shouldn't have asked." Groaning Dib held his face in his hands. Can we just go now?"

"Hmm, well your half hour isn't up yet, but you two do seem to have some things to talk about, so I suppose I'll let you out to be alone for the rest of our time."

"Really? We can go just like that?" Dib starred a bit surprised.

"Sure." Dwikcy smiled wide standing up and opening the door. "I'll just take you back to your room."

"Well alright." Dib grinned glad something was finally going right. He tugged on his cuffed wrist and Zim growled at him for it.

"I will come at my own time stupid hyuman!" Dib rolled his eyes as Zim sat for a minute or so before standing up. "Now it is my time!" he quickly dragged Dib to the door where Dwicky was waiting.

"Well let's be off~" Dwicky cheered and led the two out of the soundproof room.

**QQQ**

Dwicky was ranting on and on in his cheery voice and Dib was ignoring him but sadly he didn't fail to notice the janitor standing across the hall glaring at him and holding- "Oh god."

"I'm watching yoooouu." The janitor let out as a high pitched witchy voice as he waved a partly smashed taco in his hand.

"O-oh god.." Dib's mouth fell open. 'That cannot be possible! He did NOT find a taco in the door!'

"Move it Dib beast!" Zim snapped wanting to get into the room and not noticing what Dib was staring at.

Dib continued staring at the janitor who kept wagging the taco in the air, until the door was closed on him and he was once again locked in the small room with the Grinch.

**QQQQQ**


	8. Chapter 8: Forbiddenness

_XD hehe Okay so update requested by sliverplatter on the livestream (no clue who they are on dA so whatever XD)_

_Beta: No beta__  
Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

_Q  
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Q_

**Chapter 8:  
Forbiddenness**

'How did he find a Taco?' Dib asked himself that night as he stared up at the ceiling from his place on the bed next to Zim. The little Martian had fallen asleep quickly still being extremely tired since his few weeks of no sleep, but Dib didn't mind. He still couldn't believe his luck. "HOW could a taco possibly get in the door?" He finally asked himself out loud.

"Cause I put it there." a cutesy voice giggled next to him and Dib's eyes widened at the sound, his head snapping to look over at the bed next to him. Nothing was in sight, just Gir laying on the bed as usual.

"Did you.. just talk?" impossible, Gir was a plush toy, he must really be going crazy.

"Well yeah~" Gir sat up giggling again. "Why wouldn't I talk?"

"Oh Sh-!" Dib's eyes widened and he moved to jump out of bed when he bumped into Zim and realized he was trapped.

"Shhh! Don't wake up master! He's sleepy." Gir grinned and jumped off his bed.

"This can't be happening.." Dib stated shaking his head slowly. But honestly there was no real reason that it couldn't. Zim wasn't exactly human after all. "Wait.. Can you tell me what Zim is?"

"He's a Irken." Gir grinned up at the bed as he headed for the door wanting to get some snacks again.

"Irken..." Dib repeated slowly watching as Gir nodded and left the room. "Well... I guess I know what you are now." He looked at Zim who was frowning in his sleep. 'Not a real happy guy are you?'

Zim shivered and reached behind him grabbing Dib's arm and wrapping it around himself. Dib stared shocked. "It was YOUR fault." He groaned and cosed his eyes. At least now he knew he hadn't reverted to his old sleep cuddling habit like he had thought, Zim just registered him as an extra blanket. "Well guess I can sleep now." Dib yawned and closed his eyes finally letting himself fall asleep.

**QQQ**

Just like the previous morning, Dib and Zim slept far past the usual wake up call. They would have slept even longer if a strange noise hadn't woken Dib.

Dib's eyes opened slowly and reluctantly. He didn't want to wake up, but he couldn't place what that sound was. It was like a soft drone, he could only compare it to a cat he had been petting once. It had started purring, and that's kind of what this sounded like. But there weren't any cats in Juvie... right?

Dib opened his eyes wider to find the source of the sound surprisingly finding it between his arms. "Z-Zim?"

It WAS Zim! The little freak was purring. "Things just keep getting weirder.." Dib sighed and closed his eyes groaning a little. Would it be too much to ask for a normal day?

"UP AND AT EM SLEEPY HEADS~" The door slammed open as the ever happy Dwicky entered the room.

Dib closed his eyes wishing he could block out the too cheery voice. "Well come on you two, arts and crafts! You don't wanna miss that do you?" Dib noticed from the continuation of the purring noise that Dwicky didn't seem to have woken Zim up.

"Uhh, is Zim supposed to make that noise?" he asked looking up at the counselor.

"What noise?" Dwicky asked stepping closer and hearing the purring. His eyes widened and he crossed his arms. "That is COMPLETELY inappropriate Dib! You let go of him now!"

Dib jerked away from Zim instantly and the Irken whined waking up against his will. "Mmm whas going on?" Zim asked tiredly.

"It seems You two have gotten closer then you should have." Dwicky shook his head pulling a small key out of his pocket and going forward to un-cuff the two teens, much to Dib's surprise. "No more sleeping together." Dwicky ordered before grabbing Dib's arm and jerking him off the bed.

Zim's eyes widened and he looked confused. When did Dwicky get here? Wait... "THE CUFFS ARE GONE!" he jumped out of bed and cheered victoriously.

Dib glared at him, "Yeah enjoy it." It was all the beans fault to begin with. "Stupid Irken."

Zim froze mid victory. "What?"

Dwicky tapped his foot impatiently as the two teens seemed to be starting a conversation without him. "Come on, you can talk later, arts and crafts now!" he quickly ushered the two out of their room.

**QQQ**

"Look there they are!"

"Can you believe it?"

"No way man, I thought that Zim guy hated everyone."

"Man that Dib kid must be really good to have gotten him."

The conversations didn't die down despite Dib and Zim entering the room. Both teens were completely lost. Almost everyone was glaring at them most whispering amongst themselves, some louder then others.

"Did we miss something?" Dib asked taking his usual seat.

"Dib." Dwicky said standing up in front of the group. "This is an intervention."

"A.. what?" Dib looked through the group confused. Zim sat next to him as a force of habit and glared at the group confused.

"What brain worms are eating you lot now?"

"No use trying to hide it boy's we all saw the pictures." Dwicky said solemnly.

"Pictures?"

"WHAT PICTURES?" Zim demanded standing up. "ZIM DEMANDS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!"

"These pictures." Dwicky held out a little book and Zim quickly snatched it away. It had the Irken insignia on it, they must have found his research. He flipped it open and his face darkened. "This is not my research..."

Dib leaned over the book to get a good look at it and almost fell over. "Where did those come from?" They were all pictures of he and Zim cuddled up in bed. Aside from WHO took the pictures he also wondered WHY there were so many. They had only slept together twice!

"We found them in your room boys. As you know activities like this are strictly forbidden." Dwicky began.

"What activities? We had to share a bed because of those stupid hand cuffs!"

"Don't interrupt Dib!" Dwicky snapped glaring at him. "As I was saying these activities are strictly forbidden, there for you will both be punished. _Separately_."

**QQQQQ**


	9. Chapter 9: Called Therapist for a Reason

_Beta: Stormy__  
Basically it's an AU ZADR story where Dib and Zim meet in Juvenile Hall. Zim's got a bunch of disorders and Dib was framed and given a life sentence because he's the 'crazy kid'._

_IZ (c) Jhonen Vasquez  
Story (c) ME XD_

_Q  
Q  
Q_

**Chapter 9:  
He's Called a Therapist for a Reason Honey**

Dib sighed heavily as he sat in the counselor's office. Alone. He hated to admit it, but he was actually starting to miss Zim. After countless weeks attached to the guy, it felt odd to be separated from him. Not that he had liked being stuck with him or anything! Oh no, it was just odd not hearing the alien's input on everything anymore. He could practically hear Zim's comments in his ear, complaining about being forced to wait for Mr. Dwicky and Dib couldn't help but smile at the thought. Zim would have hated waiting like this. He caught himself grinning and he quickly frowned.

A creak of the door alerted him to the counselor's presence. He turned and gave the man a blank stare. "Hello, Dib." Dwicky nodded at him, going to take his seat behind the desk.

"Hello, Mr. Dwicky," Dib droned, not bothering to look at him, currently occupied staring at a dusty rubber plant in the corner of the room.

Mr. Dwicky frowned at this but sighed and shrugged it off. "You brought this on yourself, Dib. Doing those things to poor, innocent Zim."

Dib tensed and almost jumped up to shout at Dwicky, fortunately he restrained himself. "What things? I didn't do anything! The stupid freak was using me as a blanket!"

"Now, now, Dib. Harsh words will only get you harsher punishment."

Dib groaned and grabbed his hair, tempted to rip it all out by the roots in his frustration. _'They're all mad!'_

"Now Dib, I was thinking about your punishment,"

_'Completely insane!'_

"And I thought, perhaps I could LESSEN your punishment."

_'They're going to find some way to kill me I just KNOW it- wait.'_ "Lessen my punishment?"

Dwicky grinned, a predatory gleam in his eye. "Well if you insist, for a small favor of course~"

"...What kind of favor?" Dib gave Dwicky a suspicious look. He didn't trust this freak anymore then he trusted Zim. _'Ugh, again with the Zim thoughts. Bad brain! Bad!'_ He was tempted to swat his head but refrained as he noticed Dwicky standing up and coming closer. "What are you-" Dib froze when the man ran a hand gently through his hair.

"I always did like the trouble makers." Dwicky smiled, wrapping an arm around him.

Dib's jaw dropped like an anchor. "WHAT?" He stood up, jerking away from Dwicky as fast as humanly possible. "NO WAY! NOT ON YOUR LIFE!"

"What? I can completely remove the punishment and the horrible scar of this event from your record~" Dwicky practically purred, though it didn't even come close to Zim's purring-

_'GAH! This is NOT the time for that!'_

"So, what'll it be Dib?" Dwicky asked, stepping forward and whispering into his ear, ready to pounce. "I've been told I'm good."

By WHO? Keef? Or another inmate? They were all insane anyway. "NOT ON THIS PLANET, YOU FREAK!" Dib shouted. The teen shoved Dwicky away from himself and rushing towards the door.

Dwicky merely glared at him. "I guess I have no choice then." He reached over and pressed a red button on the side of his desk.

**QQQ**

Dib groaned as he leaned back in the small cot he was confined too. After escaping Dwicky, he tried to report the man to the warden, but was intercepted by the same stupid guards that had brought him to cell room 999 to begin with. They stuffed him into another straight jacket, this one with buckles instead of ties, and tossed him into a small room he could have sworn was the janitors closet... wait.

"What are you doing on my bed?"

Dib froze. _'Not this guy again.'_

"Oh sure, I take one small vacation and they shove a kid in my bed! I'm not like that stupid therapist here. I DON'T GET OFF ON LITTLE BOYS!" the Janitor shouted at the door angrily. He glared back at Dib. "I'm still watching you, kid, don't think I'm not." He moved his fingers from his eyes to Dib and back. Moving them back he poked himself in the eye and growled a curse under his breath.

Dib wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed quiet. _'I'm gonna go crazy here... If I haven't already.'_

"You wait here, I'm gonna go have a talk with the management around this place," the janitor snapped, then stormed out of the room, leaving the door wide open.

Dib lay staring for a moment then grinned and sat up. He could get out of this godforsaken place, just a few steps and-

"HIIII!"

"GAH!" Dib could have cried in frustration. "What now?" Looking over he saw Zim's green dog toy staring at him from the floor next to the cot.

"Where you goin'?"

"Out." Dib spat, starting to glare at the stupid toy-thing.

"Awww... Why? I was gonna hang out with you! And there some big guys right outside!"

"What?" Dib quickly glanced out the door and saw for a fact that there was one of the large guards from earlier in front of the door. _'Wait.. if that guy's there, how did-'_ He shook his head. "He probably moved, it's nothing." Sighing Dib took a seat back on the cot and Gir climbed up next to him. "So..."

"Sooooooooo?"

"...You wanted to hang out?"

"OH YEAH!" Gir giggled. "Master's all sad now."

"Zim? Sad? Why's that?" Dib asked, giving Gir a funny look. He was tempted to laugh at the notion. Zim's only emotion was anger, how could he be sad?

"They took his blankey away!" Gir practically sobbed. Wait scratch that, he was sobbing. Burying his face in Dib's chest and making horrible screeching noises.

"Blankey..." Dib snorted before pushing Gir away. "Hey! Cut it out! Are you sure you didn't have a bad dream or something? Zim never had a-" His denseness broke. "Wait... you mean me?" Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Gir nodded, staring up at him with watery eyes. "Master misses his blankey, he can't sleep no more."

"Oh come on, what are you trying too pull? Zim and I hate each other. And it's his fault I'm here in the first place!"

"But master LOOOOVES you!" Gir insisted. "You made him noisy!"

"Isn't he always noisy? I got the feeling he yelled a lot." His tone was amused, but the stare Dib gave Gir was blank.

"No, no, he made a funny noise." Gir went cross eyed for a moment and made an odd droning noise, trying to impersonate Zim.

It took Dib a second to realize what he was talking about. "You mean that purring?" he blushed a little remembering it.

"YEAH!" Gir jumped up and down and did a little dance. "He purr for you! He likes you!"

"But- he was asleep-"

"HE. PURRED. FOR. YOU!" Gir interrupted, his face suddenly angry, his eyes red. "MASTER HAS CHOSEN HIS NEW MATE! YOU WILL DO AS HE COMMANDS!"

"...!" Dib jerked back, shocked at the sudden change in personality. "...Okay."

Gir backed off, smiling again, and slid off the cot. "I'mma go get food. Bye, bye blankey!" he waved and left.

"Well.. that was odd...and slightly terrifying…" Dib shook his head, deciding Gir must be just as screwed up as his alien master. "Just wonderful."

**QQQQQ**


End file.
